The Merc with the Mouth

Deadpool (2016)

8.6/10 on IMDb
84% on Rotten Tomatoes

Chloe's thoughts: Signed, sealed and recommended by Chloe; Watch it in cinemas
Watch it if you: Want to watch a superhero movie that's different from the others; want to be thoroughly entertained; want to laugh a lot and want to watch some really cool action sequences


So I watched Deadpool for Valentine's Day (don't judge), and it was pretty great!

Ryan Reynolds returns and does justice to the beloved character of Deadpool (previously screwed up when "the studio inexplicably sewed his fucking mouth shut the first time"). Ahh, yes... remember when Deadpool had his mouth sewn shut and was given retractable sword blades in his arms, along with the ability to teleport and shoot lasers from his eyes? Yeah... aren't we glad that Days of Future Past erased some of this stuff?

Speaking of which... Colossus now has a Russian accent. I thought it was weird but apparently he was always Russian, and according to IMDb, now that Days of Future Past has erased stuff, they have begun to redo a few things properly. I was sad to see that the actor has also changed too, though.

But yeah, it was great to see them incorporate the X-Men in. Because Marvel doesn't have the rights to them we've never seen the X-Men appear as a cameo or in a minor role, so it was refreshing to see this. I forgot about this, so I was semi-shocked when I heard the word "mutant", but it was a great feeling nonetheless.

Back to the actual film... I was pretty hesitant when I saw the trailers for the film, but it ended up being pretty darn fantastic.

Right from the get go you will know this will be a good time. The opening credits are the best opening credits I have ever seen, and it helped set the tone, almost as if telling you, "We do not take ourselves seriously, so you shouldn't take this film seriously. Sit back and relax, because we're going to make Deadpool right again."

And sure enough the acting was great, and the storyline was good. But, the BEST parts of the film were the actual script and the action sequences. To be honest, I thought I would hate the script. I thought the jokes wouldn't be that great because I was getting real sick of the trailers (seriously, that brown pants joke was getting so old even the first time I saw it - when was the last time we heard that joke... when we were five years old?), but i was so surprised at how well they handled the quick-witted merc with the mouth who's constantly breaking the fourth wall.

Also, I usually hate when movie characters just think they are so funny and are so arrogant, and CONSTANTLY make quips - it annoys the hell out of me. But even though Wade Wilson is a cocky bastard who makes quips at a faster rate than he draws breaths, it was handled really well. Sure, some jokes were predictable and immature, but the film allowed these jokes to be a medium for storytelling; we can see the whole personality of Wade Wilson through them, showing you that even if he's in pain, he will annoy the HELL out of you for the sake of annoying the hell out of you.

Overall, this was a fun movie to watch in theatres, it was a pretty great superhero movie, and heck it was even a good Valentine's date.

Just remember, don't bring your little kiddies to watch this, because they will be in for a mature-themed-cuss-battling treat if you do.

A few side notes:

The soundtrack to this was great

The actress for Vanessa looks so much better with long hair

Fun fact, she was also the actress for Chloe Crazy Eyes in How I Met Your Mother

Ed Skrein, the actor for Ajax, is so cute (he reminds me of Nicholas Hoult and he looks so much better than in Game of Thrones)

Best quotes of the film ~SPOILERS~ (not really, but they detract from the fun if you've already heard them)

-(After trying to punch Colossus' balls) "Dad?!"
-"Happy Lent!"
-"Wow, this is such a big house, but I only ever see the two of you here. It's like the studio didn't have enough money for any more X-Men characters"
-(After being shot in his butt) "Right up Main Street!"
-The stripper named Chastity
-(Holding up a cartoon drawing of someone) "Have you seen this man?"
-As stated before, all the opening credits
-Any joke involving Hugh Jackman
-All scenes with Dopinder

Best Movies of 2015

So last year when I did the best movies of 2014, I ranked every single movie of the year I had seen and it was just crazy and way too much for me. So I was thinking of just doing a standard top 10 (like normal people), but I thought I should do it by category/genre instead, seeing as it's really hard to rank a comedy against a drama, and so on.

And within each category, if I have more than one it's because I am the most indecisive person ever and can't pick a "Best", so they are not in any particular order.

Also, I've linked each movie to the blog post with my full review of it, since this list will just have a brief summary of what I thought about each film.

Okay, let's go!


Best Overall Film
Mad Max: Fury Road

Yeh, so I don't think this comes as a surprise to ANYONE. I have seen this film six times already and if it wasn't for the fear of looking crazy (or... crazi-ER), I would watch it again tonight. This film has heart, emotion, a brilliant soundtrack, some crazy insane stunts, a rich and vibrant backstory, intense action sequences, fantastic actors, amazing directing, beautifully saturated shots, perfect cinematography, and (despite what some people might say) a great plot.

This film is perfection and it is so so SO hard to fault. If you haven't already, WATCH IT NOW! At least for the Doof Warrior!


Best Heart-Attack Inducer (AKA Best Drama/Thriller)
[Note: I haven't seen Creed yet which looks like a good drama]

Sicario

This film felt like a 2 hour lead up to the most painful heart attack you would ever receive. The entire film is so suspenseful and you feel like you are being led on a wild goose chase after being given no information whatsoever on where the chase is occurring, when you need to chase the goose, and if there is even a goose that needs chasing in the first place.

Emily Blunt and Benicio Del Toro are great in this, the music is great, the film looks stunning, and it leaves a huge impact on you for days after you see it.

Ex-Machina

A great, not-so-well-known Sci-Fi drama that really pushes you into questioning reality and your own existence. With it's unique plot, it's definitely one of the best of the year, despite being a bit slow-paced.

At first I was unsure about how much I liked it, but over time, the more I thought about it... the better it seemed to get. All three of the main cast are great, THAT MIRROR SCENE almost gave me a heart attack, and that dancing scene made me strangely but pleasantly unsettled.

Notable Mention(s): The Gift was a great psychological thriller with a very interesting and unique plot.


Best Side Splitter (AKA Best Comedy)
[Note: I haven't seen Trainwreck and American Ultra yet, which sound pretty cool]

Kingsman: The Secret Service

One of the first films of the year, this delightfully violent and gory twist on your typical spy genre has stuck with me for the entire year as one of the best. Its fantastically unapologetic sense of humour distinguishes it from those James Bond classics we know and love, showing us that you CAN watch an extremely long scene of a church massacre while grinning from cheek to cheek, you CAN do Maccas product placement correctly, and you CAN have someone who acted as Mr. Darcy to now act as an umbrella-wielding badass.

A must watch that ticks all the boxes.

The Hateful Eight

This was a hard one to place because it's not wholly a comedy film; it's a comedy, mystery and drama all rolled into one. But I still think it was an amazing comedy because there are A LOT of moments of laughter in this, mixed in with amazing actors, perfectly hilarious dialogue and just fantastic directing. It's Tarantino, after all.

Notable Mention(s): The Martian was a great and hilarious film about a man trapped on a desolate planet. Who knew THAT could be funny?! Spy was another good one that was actually a lot funnier than I thought it would be, with a great cast and some great humour.


Best Feels Trip
Inside Out

Of course I had to create a random category just for this film to be the best of something. I didn't want to just do a cop out and say Best Animated Film, because it's the only animated film I have seen all year.

Inside Out is great because it's not just an adventure comedy, but man oh man does it tug at your heart strings. I was literally weeping in the cinemas watching this.

The unique premise of looking at the embodiments of different feelings inside humans is fantastic and left such a huge impact on me days and weeks after I saw it. While I didn't really like the sense of humour at first, the film seemed to get better and better over the weeks as I would replay scenes in my head, eventually turning into a must-see for children and adults alike.

Notable Mention(s): Room was also a great feels trip (mainly thanks to Brie Larson's amazing acting) which I was going to put under drama but since it didn't really induce any heart attacks I thought it was more fitting as a feels film.


Best True Story
[Note: I haven't seen Straight Outta Compton or Steve Jobs yet]

Bridge of Spies

Steven Spielberg, I have missed you. But thankfully this was a great return, looking at the true story of insurance-lawyer-turned-political-negotiator James Donovan.

The acting is superb, the story is inspirational, and it surprisingly still had its funny moments amongst the drama.

Spotlight

A great film looking at the journalists that uncovered the appalling cover-ups conducted by the Catholic Church over child-molestation cases by their priests. The film is riveting with action and new elements in every scene, the acting is superb and the film makes you want to cry your heart out.

An emotional film, especially due to the amazing performance of Mark Ruffalo, and the great editing and directing.

Notable Mentions(s): The Revenant was a fantastic film as well, but the downside of it was that it was pretty slow paced and not a film for everyone.


Best Blockbuster/Franchise Film
[Note: I haven't seen Furious 7, and most likely never will]

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

This film went straight into things and it was great. The action just kept coming and coming, the car chase scene was fantastic, and the film as a whole was non-stop entertainment. Tom Cruise just went above and beyond what I expected of him, making the entire film experience amazing.


Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

What is with all these movies having super long titles? Franchises, am I right?

Anyway, I don't need to tell you how good Star Wars was. Yes, it had heaps of plot holes but I think the general hype and several cameos and relief of it being better than the prequels still makes it one of the best blockbuster films of the year.

Notable Mentions(s): Jurassic World, despite it's lame ending, was a pretty good film for mindless entertainment. Avengers: Age of Ultron was pretty great too, and not just because of Chris Evans' good looks... (To be honest, I can't remember much of the film though, so that's an indication to me that maybe it isn't actually as great as I thought it was... I remember thinking it was great but I can't remember exactly what was great about it...)


Well, that's it for 2015. Here's to a great year in movies for 2016!

Movie Reviews in Five Dotpoints or Less - Part VI

Spy (2015)

7.1/10 on IMDb
93% on Rotten Tomatoes

This movie was actually quite funny; it looked stupider in the trailer but it turned out to be really enjoyable

Loads of witty banter and some ridiculous humour

A great cast, and I especially loved Jason Statham

Melissa McCarthey did great in this; she really stepped up to the physical challenge of the film, and is pure hilarity


Good Will Hunting (1997)

8.3/10 on IMDb
97% on Rotten Tomatoes

For some reason I thought this film was called Goodwill Hunting, like looking for goodwill, but I guess that sort of is actually a description of the movie

This film had some great great acting; Robin Williams was amazing in it (my heart broke seeing him) and Minnie Driver as well

Fantastic writing and acting from Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, both looking super handsome as well

But yeh the dialogue in this was so great! There were also some fantastic monologues that were done in single takes and they were so mesmerising to watch (coming from someone who has a slight stutter and messes up her words every second sentence)

There were a few moments where things got way too real and I got reallllly teary :'( Would definitely recommend this film be watched


In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

7.0/10 on IMDb
43% on Rotten Tomatoes

Chloe's Thoughts: Please - for the love of all things good and true - do not watch this
Watch it if you: Are too happy in life and want to be bored; Have problems sleeping
(Note: I'm only doing the new rating system for this movie because I want this label to appear on my blog)

Yeh definitely would not recommend seeing this film about a giant whale who absolutely wrecks this ship crew (it's based on the true story that inspired Moby Dick)

It's two hours long but it feels like 50; the first half is so incredibly slow with not a whale in sight; the main plot only comes in in the second half of the film, but then all the interesting stuff is sort of glossed over and happens way too quickly

The music was just terrible; none of it matched. For example they would have really triumphant music when everything was going wrong, and they would have that epic bass-beating music when it was just mundane everyday sailing occurring

Also I couldn't understand anything that was being said. Chris Hemsworth also kept switching from an American to a British accent every other word.

Speaking of Chris Hemsworth, his weight loss was so not worth it. There was like a 20 second scene with him being that skinny, and his shirt wasn't even off.


Serena (2014)

5.4/10 on IMDb
18% on Rotten Tomatoes

We follow the rise of the Pemberton timber empire in North Carolina in the early 1900s

Jennifer Lawrence is great (and the only reason I watched this film let's be real), but the film wasn't that great

It has really weird directing; it's got a slow pace but at the same time it's kind of fast paced? For example there are a lot of slow, drawn out takes but then on the other hand, for some plot-moving scenes, the director does not spend any more than 1 or 2 minutes on the scene, so it feels a bit odd

Bradley Cooper sounded like he had a cold and a blocked nose for half of the movie, and sounded fine for the other half; and I don't think it was shot sequentially because this blocked nose would come and go in between scenes

The ending was quite weird, and I wouldn't really recommend this film unless you are super bored (but even then, surely there is something else to do or some other movie to watch) or just love Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper

This week at the movies: Rape Awareness

Spotlight (2015)

8.3/10 on IMDb
96% on Rotten Tomatoes

Chloe's thoughts: A must-see
Watch it if you: Want to watch a fantastic, yet heartbreaking, film about a true and truly shocking story about the Catholic Church

In 2001, an investigative team of journalists look into a previously-published case regarding a priest molesting over 80 boys. As they dig up more information on the case, they discover that this molestation of children by priests is not an anomaly, but an actual phenomenon that occurs in 6% of priests, or in another words, 90 priests just in Boston alone.

So I watched this film right before I watched Room and I was actually more keen for Room, yet this film just blew me away and really set the bar high. The way this film is done is so amazing at keeping you bewildered, on edge, and extremely appalled.

The whole film was pretty much two hours of me borderline crying.

It's not like I am or ever was a Catholic, it's not like I didn't know this was quite common, and it's not the first ever film I saw on these child molestation cases (cf. Doubt (2008)), but it just got to me so much.

The whole film was done so well to create this sense of being unsettled, especially as it starts off sort of small, then progresses to something a bit bigger, and then continues to progress to something huge. It even goes to a global scale for goodness sake!

And I guess the main reason why it affected me so much was because this is a true story. These rape cases actually happened. These priests actually went away with zero consequences after RAPING children. These victims actually went on to suicide, turn to drugs/alcohol, develop mental illnesses and create weird rationales for their own sexuality.

And you know what? These cases are still happening today. That is SO messed up and the thought of that just makes me want to cry.

Several times throughout the film, I teared up quite a bit, and a major reason for that was the tremendous acting by the superb cast. We have Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Mark Ruffalo and Brian d'Arcy James in the Spotlight team that investigates the issue, and all of them do an amazing job at portraying this vulnerable and confused team.

Mark Ruffalo though had the BEST performance of the movie. He was simply amazing. Everything about him, his voice, his accent, his hunchback, his awkwardness, his facial expressions, everything was so different to the Mark Ruffalo we know. There is one scene in particular where he delivers this hugely emotional monologue, and man oh man that tugged at my heartstrings so much.

The film was also directed really well. There was always something happening in the film, some new plot element, there was even some misdirection at one stage, and you feel like you are one of those reporters, at first not knowing too much, then later starting to know a bit more, starting to trust others a bit less, starting to lose faith in the system, and starting to realise how lucky you were to not be one of those kids that were randomly chosen by priests to be molested.

So overall, this film is a must see. It's emotional, it's heartbreaking, but worst of all, it's a true story, and the least we can do is to not be ignorant of what is happening with Catholic priests all around the world.


Room (2015)

8.3/10 on IMDb
96% on Rotten Tomatoes

Chloe's thoughts: Signed, sealed and recommended by Chloe
Watch it if you: Want to watch a good film that looks into the themes of rape and the struggles of a rape victim and child abuse victim adapting to the real world

This is definitely not an easier film to watch than Spotlight. Even before watching Spotlight, I turned to Michael and said I didn't think I was ready for these two heavy, dark and depressing films about rape victims.

Room is set in a, well, a room. This room and all of its contents are the only thing that 5 year old Jack knows, since his mother was kidnapped, raped, and then confined in this room. Growing up in this sort of environment though, Jack's mum, Ma, has to normalise everything about Room so that her son is saved from the horrific truths of his existence. However, as Jack gets older, Ma needs to tell Jack the truth in order for her to have any hope in trying to escape Room.

While this film is fictional, it doesn't make it any easier to watch, because you know that this sort of stuff is actually real. Remember when a few years ago in the USA, Ariel Castro was found out to have kidnapped 3 women, one of them with a 6 year old child, and kept all them in his basement? Or that Josef Fritzl guy in Austria who raped his daughter, and kept her and their children in his basement for 24 years? This sort of stuff happens all over the world, and you never really think about what it would feel like to be in that situation.

Brie Larson was amazing in this. She needs to win the Oscar, because she portrayed her emotions so well. It was fascinating being able to see the two sides of her character in one facial expression. You have on one side the desperate and depressed rape victim confined in a small room with limited food, clothing, and zero contact with the outside world. Then on the other side you have the loving mother making everything in her son's life happy and normal. Brie Larson did a phenomenal job in expressing both of these without needing to overact or overdramatise everything. It was subtle, and it was real.

I have a bit more hesitation when commenting on Jacob Tremblay's performance. On one hand he did a great job, but on the other hand, gosh I hate kids. Kids are annoying. Kids are selfish. Kids are stubborn. Jacob Tremblay's Jack was all of these, and it was so frustrating to watch! I know this was the point, because they got you to feel how Ma was feeling, but they also made you praise Ma for being able to still be understanding and loveable.

The music in this was pretty great. I don't really recall Spotlight's soundtrack, but the soundtrack in this film was really emotional, and helped the film a lot.

The film wasn't slow or anything, and it's not like it was bad... it just wasn't as great as Spotlight, which I only just watched an hour before. I can't really put my finger on what I didn't like about this film. It was slightly drawn out, but I don't think that was the main issue. It might have been that it was just so frustrating to see how the characters reacted, even though it was completely normal and understandable that the two main characters would not be in the right state of mind.

In the end though, this film was a good film and worth the watch, but I don't think it needs to be watched in the cinemas. And you have to be mentally ready for this film too, because it will get you on the edge of your seat, and you will feel fear, dread, hatred, and all kinds of negative emotions.