On Wednesday the 21st of August, 2019, at around 9.30pm, my father had a heart attack while driving. He was on his way home from his weekly badminton session (later we found out that he told his friend he didn't feel well and left earlier than usual). He crashed on Silverwater Road, hitting both barriers, scraping the metal rail until he screeched to a halt. Some nearby road workers saw this, and approached the car. My dad was unconscious, slumped on the steering wheel. The road workers had to break open the car window, pull my father out, and (because he wasn't breathing) administer CPR on him. They saved his life.
He was rushed to Westmead Hospital via ambulance, and spent the next few days in ICU. He suffered a collapsed lung, and 3 rib fractures, all from the CPR.
My father's existence today is nothing short of a miracle. The fact that he had a heart attack and was resuscitated soon after is a miracle alone, but the fact that he had a heart attack while driving, crashed to the point where the car is a complete write-off, and suffered no severe injuries from the car crash alone, sounds like fiction.
He spent a few days in ICU. The first day, he was heavily sedated, with a tube down his throat. He doesn't remember that time at all. The tears, worries, and stress from that day have disappeared completely from his mind, its absence a strong reminder that he himself might have disappeared completely if things went differently.
If he stayed at badminton, and had a heart attack there, would he have been alive? If he left badminton a minute earlier or later, and crashed a little bit closer or further up, would anyone be able to give him CPR? What if he went home, went to bed early because he wasn't feeling well, and had a heart attack in bed? He takes me to the bus stop when he leaves for work, so I would have been the one to enter his bedroom, try to wake him up, and instead realise he was dead.
I've been thinking about this a lot, especially those first few days while he was in hospital. But only now, 10 days after the fact, am I realising just what could have happened. Yes, he would have died, I've gone over that in my head. But what would that mean? Father's Day is tomorrow, and my brother and I would have been fatherless for the first time ever. Also, his birthday is shortly after Father's Day, and we would have been mourning instead of celebrating.
It is so crazy to think how fleeting life is. It's so transient, and quick to change. You could start off your day just as you would any other, and it could randomly be your last. Suddenly you're here one day, and the next day you're not.
So the saying is true: we need to make the most out of our lives.
This is two-fold:
1. We need to take life seriously. The phrase carpe diem (seize the day) doesn't actually mean "YOLO LET'S PARTY AND HAVE FUN BECAUSE YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!" No, the phrase actually means "I'm going to make the most out of today, and do as much as I can so that my future is better." In this case, we make the most out of our time on Earth by being productive, creating value, securing food and money so that we and our families can live a comfortable life.
2. On the other hand, we can't take life too seriously. We need to make the most out of life, but we also need to enjoy what we make of it.
So, ultimately, making the most out of life requires a fine balancing act that many of us (and especially me) have not yet mastered. But the next time you're staying back at work for the umpteenth time in a row, and missing your family, or missing the hobbies you love doing, then think about carpe diem: are you seizing the day? And the next time you find yourself slacking off, not making much progress on important things because "life is short, I need to enjoy it" and you've been enjoying it for a little too long, think about carpe diem: are you making the most out of your day?
