STAR WARS SEVEN WHAT?!

no.

it can't be.

when my mum told me i was just like...

no.

i mean...

i heard of Disney buying Lucasfilm but...

STAR WARS 7?!?!??!

and i was so shocked, i was like

no.

it can't be

but then i saw this and this.

i'm so worried now.

FIRSTLY:
the picture of the animation IS NOT from the film, it's from a short/series/something on YouTube called "Star Wars Detour".

SECONDLY:
i sure hope that the film isn't animated.

THIRDLY:
it's supposed to be released in 2015 and apparently it's not in production yet (although I haven't read anything along those lines so i'm not sure). if it's not in production yet, i doubt it will be animated because it takes a good several years to do animated films.

FOURTHLY:
the Wikipedia article that i linked to above says:
The key actors, Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker, Harrison Ford as Han Solo and Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia, would appear, in their 60s or 70s.
i sure hope this means that it's live actors, but the article also says:
...hints that George Lucas has given over time...(sometimes contradictory)...

FIFTHLY:
animated or not, i think this is a terrible idea. i think the Dark Knight is the only thing that has ever lived up to a famous film legacy and that's Batman, not even Star Wars. there have been so many Star Wars spin-offs and series, nothing has lived up to it. even the second trilogy of the original series was not super fantastic (i mean it was good, but still)

SIXTHLY:
i love Disney. i love Star Wars. but that doesn't mean i ever believed, wanted or thought they would or could ever join forces (yay pun).

SEVENTHLY:
Disney does not always equal animations. sure, it's what they do best and it's a large part of why they were famous. but think Pirates of the Caribbean, Remember the Titans, Cool Runnings, National Treasure, Holes, The Mighty Ducks, Around the World in 80 Days, Bedtime Stories and The Princess Diaries. All amazing non-animated Disney films, so there is hope.

EIGHTHLY:
i would have much preferred Disney just make a space-based film (especially if it's animated) rather than a Star Wars-based film. I love classic Disney and modern Disney-Pixar, but modern Disney has really started to get very weird and...worrying.


Anyway, I guess we just have to wait until 2015 and see how this pans out.

belt buckle

happy birthday to robin!!!

and happy halloween!

anyway, short post.

31/10/2012: This was our present to my brother. It's an arsenal belt buckle. Looks really cool.

library day yay

Happy Birthday to my brotha!

30/10/2012: Went to the library today. It was a really good change of pace and environment.

AAAAAAAAAAND here's Sangavi being a goober.

happy birthday to my broskies

29/10/2012: It's not my brother's birthday but we went out to a burger shop for a birthday dinner for him. It was really nice, and the chips were delightful.

the burger was far too large tho, i couldn't really finish it, gave the rest to my dad.

also, for students drinks are free yay (not alcoholic btw) even though i didn't drink that much

my bro also wanted to try honey mead, which is like alcohol made from wine so my mum got him some, and his friend did too.

we haven't given him his present yet thought because it's nto his birthday...

we also saw this babushka doll shop (because the burger shop was in that darling harbour mall thing), it was so cool:

ijsflasfa

28/10/2012: Today has been a boring day. But I found this in my scrap paper pile. It's from our readings on Gwen Harwood. I find it pretty hilarious.

it says:

"To search for such concepts was more futile than the activity of a blind man in a dark room chasing a black cat which is not there."

stepping out of the house

i stepped out of the house today.

and i didn't have to do an exam.

or go to the library.

isn't that amazing?

lol i went to my ex-tutors place to return a related text i borrowed off her. i had her for like a term, but she's so nice and everything. she's very memorable and very kind hearted.

i took a picture with her. i've attempted describing her to some people before, now you have the chance to see what i mean. she's very... into her make-up....

i have parkinsons so i decided not to use it as my daily picture.

instead...

27/10/2012: Yesterday my brother decided to 'create his own jelly'. He just had to 'add his favourite drink'. What did he add? Coca-Cola of course...

oooooooooooooh it's sideways and i have no idea why...

*sigh* stupid blogger.

26/10/2012: I've been waiting for this game to come out, and it's finally out except I don't have an iphone, an ipad, windows 8 or android. this is so sad. it's also only 3 levels (the full version is like 11 levels but you have to pay like $2 boohoo)

anyway this is the game...draw a stickman epic

it's the sequel to draw a stickman

and it looks awesome. except i can't play it.

for now.

anyway i just did a chem paper. i'm pretty tired. did two phys papers during the day.

maybe i can fit another half paper in today.

i dunno...

------

how to make a kid's bento box

georgian national ballet
oh my gosh... how do they do that... so much talent

5 ways to get past an awkward moment

favourite book quotes become fantastic illustrations

sacred waters

Zippos from Vietnam
this is so sad =[

rare historical photos part 3

cool gif thingo

family tree of the greek gods

coke bond stunt
argh that's so cool

oh i love how the HSC makes everyone manic. franny described this as 'the last sprint' until fun and freedom.

i love that phrase lol.

wait, why am i still being an english nerd =[

-----

25/10/2012: My bro bought the Plastic Beach album. Or my mum bought it for him. Whatever, it's amazing and it looks amazing.

seriously, look at the art. here are close ups of the booklet-y thing's cover (sorry they're semi blurry, I have mild Parkinson's when I take pictures):

Anyway, I need to seriously hit up phys and chem. Doing past papers, I realised how much I forgot that I forgot.

2/3 there

Isn't this a beautiful analogy about post-HSC by the one and only Damien Le?

[22-Oct-12 9:49:41 PM] Damien Le: then i can finally
[22-Oct-12 9:49:42 PM] Damien Le: LIVE
[22-Oct-12 9:49:45 PM] Damien Le: like a phoenix
[22-Oct-12 9:49:48 PM] Damien Le: reborn
[22-Oct-12 9:49:50 PM] Damien Le: from the ashes
[22-Oct-12 9:49:53 PM] Damien Le: i will rise
[22-Oct-12 9:49:57 PM] Damien Le: spreading my magnificent wings

ahh, it's beautiful.

-----

another sytycd video:


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24/10/2012: 3u is over. THAT MEANS MATHS IS OVER.

I think I did pretty good at 3u, hopefully can get close to 100%.

Also, I looked at Terry Lee's 4u answers except questions 15 and 16. I did pretty good. Up to question 14 I lost 8 marks (two multiple choice, 6 on questions i didn't get answers for) so that was pretty good. I might have lost another 3 but I couldn't remember exactly what my answers were so I didn't know. But yeah. Then I bombed questions 15 and 16 so let's not talk about that.

I'm feeling good for 3u though.

-----

Stumble time before I get into hardcore phys time:
hypnotic sculptures

patrick seymour

pixar poster series

brilliant advertisements photos

scott fife

keyboard portraits

2,500 animated pop culture characters

the sewing machine orchestra

odd man out

clever painting

pictures, drawings and dances

23/10/2012: 4u is done. That's the halfway mark. 3 more to go.

also did i ever post my drawings of one direction i did for diwan's birthday?

uhm if i remember correctly, i think each took about 1-3 hours, depending on whether i was being distracted by the computer or if i took breaks in between. i did maybe 2-3 per week. at the end of it i like hated them so much because i had been staring at their faces for so long. but it was fun nonetheless =]

------

anyway, i was bored so instead of studying (again), i looked at sytycd season 9 vids. i searched for the 'best dances' and these are the ones that i think are the best of the subjective 'best dances':

this is truly art. it's so...mesmerising.


to liven up the mood... ARGH ITS THE JIVE AND ITS BENJI FROM LIKE SEASON TWO HE'S SO COOL AND I LOVE THE JIVE YEEES!


this was a 'dance for your life' after he couldn't do the ballroom part of the auditions:


this guy's solo...wow look how high he can jump!

This is annoying. Don't do this.

click here to be annoyed

Stuff like this annoys me. The title "modern disney" caught my eye, then I saw the first picture and I was just like "What." That doesn't.....how does that remind ANYONE of Tweedledum and Tweedledee? If I saw someone wearing this, I'd be like "Cool, they're wearing a yellow sweater and red pants. Cool. Oh, and a red hat." How would one even associate something like to the characters. It's so super vague.

Then I realised that that was what the whole page was on. This is just ridiculous. And even if the clothes do match the colours, notice how there's OTHER STUFF in the pictures too, like HEELS, some SUNNIES, a PURSE, and some ACCESSORIES.

Because that will totally help me realise that it's Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

Look at the second one, the caterpillar. What? How does one even....what?

I mean the Belle one, yeah that's alright but I still won't really associate it with her.

THE ERIC ONE. That's literally jsut a white shirt, jeans and a red belt. What on earth?

And comments like this:
irishfleur06
Wrote two months ago
Aww! Well, thank you so much.. lol I'll see what I can do :)

NO! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT! You just can't.

This is what I find so annoying about sites like these, always trying to just randomly associate stuff together. Like badly-put together segues ugh.

It's also something I don't really like in fashion magazines when they say you can "get the catwalk look" or the red carpet look, although they are MUCH better than the modern Disney ones. Like they actually resemble what they're trying to go for.

Anyway, that's my rant, I don't know why it affected me so much, maybe just because it's related to Disney.


here are some links in celebration of the end of 4u:
amazing animal facts you probably didn't know

Nike paid this man to make a commercial. Here is what he came up with

cool designs

how to eat

what your poop and pee are telling you about your body

4 bizarre experiments that should never be repeated

puns everywhere

make a lunch box from a milk jug

realism challenge: playing card

creative tents from field candy

4u makes me want to cry.

22/10/2012: That feeling when you're lonely and sad because of the 4u exam, but then there's watermelon to eat. That feeling that you're full from watermelon but there's still a gigantic portion of it left in the fridge. I love that feeling. I love watermelon. Thanks for comforting me.

angler fish fascinate me.

21/10/2012: It's 12:55am but it still counts as a new day. I was feeling bored and instead of studying or sleeping or doing anything productive, i just drew. I drew an angler fish because I am in love with the concept of angler fish. I think they are amazing.

I drew inspiration from Jason's latest drawing - the underwater fish/shark/cool creature with the bait, and then reading my "Barren" story where I mentioned the angler fish, I was like I SHOULD DRAW AN ANGLER FISH!

And if you don't know the fascinating thing about angler fish (copy and pasted from me telling Jason why the male ones have terrible lives):

Basically, the scary ones are the females. The males are like tiny and can't find food because they don't have the light thing. So they just wait around on the verge of starvation. Then the female comes along, the male falls in love with it then bites onto the female because if he doesn't, then he'll lose her and he'll have to die without food. Then when he bites onto her she excretes these juices or something to dissolve the guy, leaving only its testicles hanging off her body.

Also there are like several males who follow the same female, so they have like several pairs of testicles just hanging off them.

Wonderful isn't it?

Banana Pancakes!

20/10/2012: I turned two eggs and a banana into banana pancakes! Healthy and yummy!! So yummy! <3 But unfortunately they're not that filling...

They're really easy. Get a ripe banana. Like REALLY ripe. I had to wait for so long to make these because the bananas were taking their time in riping. I like getting bananas that have a lot A LOT of black spots on them. The more, the better because then they are sweeter! And if you use them here you can fully taste them in the pancakes. Also a riper banana is easier to mash.

Okay and then next, you chop it up and put the pieces in a bowl. To make it easy, you can just peel one of the banana skin thingos back and then chop the banana up while its still held in the rest of the skin.

Then you mash it up with a fork. If you don't do this first, it'll get really hard to mix it in with the egg then you'll just get like..... an omelette with banana pieces........ew.

And then add in a bit of egg white and use the fork to whisk it together, it'll make this like frothy sort of mixture. Then add the rest of the first egg in and whisk it in. Then add the second egg. I find it easier to mix in the eggs just a little bit at a time because if not the liquid makes it hard for you to mix up the banana in it.

So yeh. Then you have the mixture, it's semi thick but not as thick as pancake mix, because mainly its egg obviously... so it's harder to flip and stuff, make sure its on a low heat otherwise it burns. And get some spray cooking oil.

But yeh, it's really good. It's not like an omelette because the banana when mashed acts like the flour, making it fluffy and stuff.

And you don't need any flavouring because you have the banana flavour so it's super healthy.

But then again, it's not that great in keeping you full. I wonder if there are any other fruits you can do this with. Probably not. I'm not sure, and too scared to try it out.

html is so hard

oh wow i feel so happy. just spent an hour finding the code to put in "Previous Page" "Next Page" at the very bottom, so when you get to the bottom you won't have to be like oh no and I ceebs clicking on the archives.

i also added the links to the labels - It's Storytime and The Looking Glass into the Whimsical Musings of Me. - under the archives dropdown box on the right of the page yaaaaaay

i feel like i've achieved so much.

Barren

So I said I wanted to post some of the stuff I've written, so here's my first one. It was my initial belonging idea, but teachers said it was too cliche. I love it though, seemed like such a waste. But it was fun writing it.

---***---

Blue.

All I saw was blue.

It filled my constricted pupils, crashing through my retinas and flooding the crevices of my mind. Next, it attacked my lungs, restricting my air supply and rendering my body useless. I was sinking, drowning, in this blue of isolation.

----------

Today marked the end of the twelfth month since we first attempted to conceive. Statistics showed that most couples were ushered devoutly into the house of Success within the First Twelve. Evidently, we were not a part of Most Couples. Success had slammed her door shut as we hesitantly stepped onto the threshold, taking with her our last slivers of hope.

Red meant pregnant.

Blue meant failure.

I was the problem. I was infertile, my optimism too childish.

My sister would play with Megatron and Batman while I played with Cinderella and Barbie. At sixteen, she had all the guy friends when I had all the boyfriends. Her distinctive boxy trampling, burdened by her body’s stout and indelicate form, would attack at my perfection; at the genes that would encrypt an elegant strut, gnashing at my thoroughbred legs and mauling away my high cheekbones. She was the ugly duckling that graced her way into becoming an ugly swan. Carefree, she was the least expected to commit, playing the Shrew to my Bianca. For to her, marriage signalled the abnormal anchorage of two independent spirits, a parasitic leeching of all individuality like the God-forsaken male angler fish, whose entirety is lethally stolen away by its female counterpart; a living death. To her, the burdensome ring of commitment was just a mere excuse to be handed over like a recycled Christmas present; the first step to losing your name and identity.

“Without further ado, I now pronounce you a Mrs., a couple; no longer a self, but a part.”

And yet, she was the first to marry; the first to shake the stingy hands of Success. Her eyes were the first to set sights on the house keys, their gentle tinkling creating a sweet lullaby as they dangled within reach of her fingertips.

And oh, how she seized them.

----------

What is the role of a woman? Forget the physical; beyond flesh and bone. What is the underlying function of us children of Eve?

Exactly that, isn’t it? To walk in the footsteps of Eve, nurturing and mothering the seeds implanted in the Earth by Adam.

Knowing this, how can one such as myself have the heart to walk the streets of this pregnancy-praising society? Where trains hoard the varicose-stricken legs of women who rub their bellies in a fit of self-attention, arching their backs and thrusting out their triumphant swollen bellies as if taunting, jeering, “I win, I win.” Mere civilians parting as the red carpet rolls out: make way for the mother-to-be, praise the mother-to-be, long live the mother-to-be.

I will never experience that praise, that speculation. I will never fall under the scrutinising eyes of society as they debate through columns and columns if what they see is a baby bump or the results of a midnight feast. I will never resemble Eve, I will never harvest Adam’s seeds; I will never possess this fundamental aspect that labels a woman as a woman.

----------

Life is brutal. There is no justice. The guilty are free to discover the boundaries of nature whilst I, so innocent and pure, dwell in a synthetic caging of the mind. My sister is not exempt from these wicked; unfairly acquitted and left unaccountable for her actions. She celebrates, drowning herself in toxic alcohol shots, breast-stroking through martini swill and indulging on caffeine cocktails laden with nicotine hangovers. She is ignorant, not once thinking of the child within. Am I alone when I see her as what she is: a murderer of innocence?

She sees a world teeming, overflowing, with life as her salad-sisters cackle over the cooing newborns, prodding their delicate flesh with acetate-laminated manicures. This world she undeservingly roams around, the world surrounding me, is teeming with life.

And yet my world is stale.

I breathe in no air, my eyes witness no life and all I feel is frigid manacles clamping me down as I am unjustly condemned of Infertility. Awaiting me: a life sentence of biding my time so that eventually I can receive, yet again, nothing.

The world stares at me in reprimand. They see me as I am not: a criminal for defying Mother Nature, void of potential. But Mother Nature weeps with knowledge. The wrong sister has been convicted. I am left to watch the unworthy escorted to freedom as I become the favourite Aunt; the Only Aunt.

The Judge glares harshly at me. A life sentence is not enough. Instead, he sends a monthly Red as a reminder, a cruel taunt that signifies an endless cycle of defeat and failure. When once upon a long time, this Red signalled the validation of my steps into womanhood, it signified an inexpressible liberty from an unwanted pregnancy. I embraced this Red, just that once. I was eager, grateful and fatally ignorant of its duplicity.

Life has a brutal sense of humour.

----------

All I saw was blue.

That blue. The blue that ended my life.

I smothered the blue with my blanket, leaving it buried deep within the crevices of my mind. I stood shakily, closed the bedroom door behind me and wearily slumped my way down the stairs towards the dining table. Awaiting me was my husband’s delightful meal, lovingly prepared and served.

An age seemed to pass as I approached him.

A kiss on the neck, a squeeze of the hands, as I silently watched him pour the reddest of wines.

aren't you sick of studying?

19/10/2012: My study room and table are too distracting, so we put a desk in my room so I can hardcore study without distractions. Since Sunday, studying has been a bit too laid-back so today I had to retreat back to this table. It's so boring. Also note how the darkness of my room juxtaposes the bright freedom of the outside world? Sorry, I know English is over but I can't stop analysing. It's such a nice day. Freedom is so close.

i need title ideas

18/10/2012: Funny story. On Monday, leaving the house to go to towers for lunch with the mother, I realised that I DIDN'T HAVE MY SCHOOL SHOES! I left them at bondi or on the bus or who knows. So I was like yeah, I'll just wear my black flats but the mother was like NO DON'T TAKE THE CHANCE! So she bought new shoes for me. It's been rationalised though that when I work at a food place again I'll have to wear them anyway so yeah.

They look pretty solid, but they're pretty light and I guess quite comfy. My feet are always too small so they're still a bit airy at the toe area.

also GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE WHO DOES BIO! =]

Update on life:
-I'm having problems studying. So sick of 4u. 3u is alright because it's not that hard, but 4u makes me want to cry

-Sometimes I get headaches and feel like vomitting, then I have to stop studying.

-I'm addicted to Spotify now. I can't stop. I just keep adding music to my playlists gahhhhhhhhhh I need to be able to distinguish between music I really love and need in my playlists and music that I just want to hear a few times. NO I LOVE MUSIC. ALL MUSIC.

-I've been keeping up to date with YouTube, meaning I've been keeping up to date with The Voice! The majority of my favourites have been making it through the battle rounds yaaaaaaay MACKENZIE! He's awesome.

-DID YOU KNOW that Ellen Degeneres is 54 years old?! I thought she was like in her 30s, 40s MAX. And Portia de Rossi is 39. I thought she was like in her 20s or 30s WOW

-My legs are really sore. Been exercising and all that ugh...the things people do to get good bodies.

-CLOUD ATLAS' INTERNATIONAL RELEASE HAS BEEN DELAYED TO BEGINNING OF NEXT YEAR! I wanted to watch it after HSC as a celebration now I'm so sadface.

-COMMUNITY HAS BEEN DELAYED TOO! It's like the universe hates us.

-I still want to watch Looper though. Hopefully that is still playing after HSC. Anyone wanna watch with?

-After HSC I seriously need to have a Harry Potter marathon. I NEED to watch that last movie. The DVD is just sitting there, waiting for me to watch it *sigh*

-My mum bought Prometheus on DVD

-I'm still wondering why they sell the Blu-Ray DVDs TOGETHER with the normal DVDs. Like what's the point of that? Care to enlighten me?

-I'm really hungry now =[

one third gone.

17/10/2012: One third of my HSC is gone. English is gone. Boy does that feel good. Threw out all my English resources and past essays, it feels amazing. And my pile of scrap paper is huge now!

Time to hit up the 4u and 3u....but I don't feel like it =[

I'll get distracted a bit more.

-----

inception explained

crazy japanese foot acrobats from 1904

fascinating and disturbing 3D illustrations

my motivation video.
this makes me feel so uplifted, so inspired. everytime i am down from now on i will just watch this video.

15 seconds of awesome french firemen's exam

20 images that can't be unseen

who died in the BP oil spill

funny siri commercial parody fight between husband and wife

funny pics

100 years of dance filmed

1/6th of HSC is done and dusted.

16/10/2012: One sixth of my HSC is done and dusted. Recycled all the belonging resources I had and ripped off Paper One from my timetable.

So that's the word for the first one.

Yesterday I was supposed to write out Mod A and Mod C timed and revise Mod B, but i was on such a high from finishing our first HSC exam that i was like nahhhh...

So today I woke up, exercised a bit, ate breakfast, youtubed, watched HIMYM, exercised more, ate lunch then got down to revising my essays.

AND IT IS SO HARD.

I HATE MY ESSAYS NOW.

I CANNOT DO THIS.

IT TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS TO REVISE MOD A BECAUSE I GOT SO DISTRACTED.

Oh gosh.

But, it's okay because THIS TIME TOMORROW I WON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ENGLISH ANY MORE!

And you won't either unless you have Ext 1 English, and if that is the case, then I'm so sorry for you =[

But yes right now I'm taking a break. I've revised everything except just one of my Mod B essays.

Then I will look over my Mod B Trial essay and write out things I tend to forget.

Then I can rest until tomorrow!

Wow, what is with this punctuation I have going on, I'm capitalising and full-stopping everything! Amazing.

Also, I'm a bit worried that I exercised my arms too much today; my right arm is a bit sore at the moment. Nothing too drastic, maybe I'm just a bit too self conscious about it. Hopefully everything is all good for tomorrow!

Until then, good luck everyone. The end is nigh (especially since some people are counting Paper Two as the last exam).

HSC DAY 1

TODAY IS THE START OF OUR LIVES.

and today is also the start of my project, taking a photo of something, anything, every day.

i have titled it

"THE LOOKING GLASS INTO THE WHIMSICAL MUSINGS OF ME"

15/10/2012: I cut up the exam timetable from the booklet and blu-tacked it onto a piece of paper so I can rip it off each time an exam finishes. And under the exams I wrote something so it will be like a slow revelation, how exciting!

but yes, english paper one.

i think i did quite alright actually.

but it was really hard to answer all the parts of the essay question

but I DON'T CARE ANYMORE BECAUSE BELONGING IS OVER.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!??!

WHO CARES

YAAAAY.

also, i write a lot of stories and poems and such so i'll probably put them up on this blog every now and then =]

panic is slowly sinking in and i am drowning.

if you want to skip to the positive half of this blog, it's in larger font

i'm starting to panic.

not the fact that HSC starts tomorrow.

not the fact that this will be the determining factor of the rest of my life (it isn't anyway)

just the fact that my first belonging essay received a big 10/15 because my essay didn't really fit in with the question.

and my creative is really really specifically on belonging to self.

and i'm panicking that i won't be able to adapt my creative to any stimulus, especially if it's one of those "use the stimulus at the very beginning of your creative"

oh gosh.

let's go through the options (sorry my mind is racing, so i have to do this visually for me to see)

familial- creative maybe, essay yes maybe
communal- creative no, essay yes
self- creative please yes, essay yes
experiences/events- creative please yes, essay please yes
choices- creative yes, essay yes except i have to make sure i actually answer the question unlike last time
perception- creative please yes, essay yes maybe
cultural- creative no, essay no is there even anything cultural in ayli?

okay so there are my options.

the majority of them i think my essay won't fail in.

positive thinkings now:

i'm panicking but i'm also sort of very calm about this.

i think it's because whilst i'm still scared,

i know that there is nothing else i can do.

there is absolutely no way i am going to be changing my essay or creative around.

what comes up will come up.

i guess there's no point speculating about anything at the moment.

i just have to be confident in my ability to adapt my essay to change it around.

we all have to be confident!

we've gone through so many essays, it's time to show the world what we are capable of.

we have less than a day.

then another 2 more hours.

then this is over, we don't have to think about belonging anymore.

okay i think i'm feeling better now.

sorry i really had to do that there was no other way for me to express my panic.

i hope everyone is feeling alright/competent.

we all are competent.

all of us, trust me.

we can go through this together.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANGIE even though she doesn't read my blog!!!

right now my brain is a mess.

i've been having terrible headaches every day for the past 4-5 days.

maybe it's because starting monday i started hardcore studying, which wasn't even hardcore. it was just "let's step away from the computer while i study so i can concentrate and write proper answers down."

you know when you do a past paper and you read the question and you're like "yeah, i got this. i'll just jot down a few dot points" then you quickly move on to the next question? then you look at the answers and you're like "WOW i wouldn't have thought of all that..."

and then you realise you have a long way to go.

yeh, i wanted to stop doing that. and stop getting distracted by youtube and chatting to people.

i've been trying to wake up earlier lately. not helping. at all.

also i feel a bit ripped off that daylight savings is stealing an hour away from us during our time of need. great timing there.

but i have a study plan and everyday i have a list of what to do and i feel the need to finish the list because i have OCD.

and i think to myself, "what a wonderful world..." no loool i definitely do not think that. i think, "HSC starts in 9 days", i can put up with these headaches for another 9 days. heck, HSC ends in exactly a month. i can put up with this for a month.

i haven't listened to music this whole week because i've been away from the computer but then nabhan told me that spotify pays the artists whose songs you listen to so i joined in (i was told to get it before but was like meh, but then paying the artists was really the only reason i got it)

so now im thinking about that one month later.

what will i do in one month?

well, what will i do starting from tomorrow?

and because i love lists, here is a list of things i want to do (NOTE: this is going to be boring, but it's fun for me and motivates me to continue- basically it's really just for me to read over again later, not you lol):

DURING HSC:
-start taking a picture of something, anything really, every single day starting from paper one (because the day HSC begins is the day our lives begin really) to whenever i get bored of it but hopefully i can sustain it
-study like crazy

that's really it for the 'during HSC' period.

AFTER HSC:
-celebrate straight after chem (duh)
-cut and dye my hair for formal (i would show a picture, but then i want it to be a surprise)
-french manicure done oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo~
-alter formal dress
-paint a lot
-draw a lot
-make a lot (likeeeeeee ceramics, and wood carvings i want to learn to do those they look mad)
-cook a lot
-perfect le macarons
-learn the guitar
-sing songs and put them on youtube yaay
-get facebook (yes, really. and when i get facebook i'll give you a long story on why i never got facebook)
-get back into listening to mainstream (i started doing this actually, i'm knowing more and more mainstream songs aren't you proud of me)
-get super super fit! and when i mean super super fit i don't actually mean fit i just mean have a good body (yes, theyre different things you can be fit without having a good body and vice versa)
-catch up on all the movies i've missed out on because i was studying or because i just never got the chance to watch them and then yeh
-get some clothes! some dresses and all that seeing as i'm more confident with my body and yeh
-do some fun things in malaysia lol like i dunno shop and eat food and document my life and whatnot
-take singing lessons
-take dancing lessons maybe
-learn how to make clothes (like go to dressmaking classes but they're expensive)
-write a lot (i usually write a lot of random poems or short story ideas down and like three of them haven't gone to completion. i'd like to write them and put them up here once in a while)
-make a time capsule, i'll put some random stuff that mean a lot to me in the box and then put it aside and label it 'do not open until 2022' or something =D

hmmmmmmm that's all i can think of now.

but yeh. hopefully this all works out.

it'd be amazing really.

one more month everyone.

just one more month.

you can do it.

i believe in you.