day 2

currently i am in the lj hooker office with nothing to do so i decided to blog.

hmm. second day. wat did i do?
first i labelled the home pictorial magazines, shoved home listings into it and then put them on display. did that for SO many magazine its not even funny. my hands were like super dry but not as dry as yesterday when i had to fold all those papers and handle all those envelopes, that was insanity.

then one of the managers took me to the kellyville branch and right next to it theres a pet shop so we went there because shes in love with the shop and wanted me to see it since ive never seen it before and guess who i saw?!

eunice!! haha i walked in and saw her and i was like "dude... i KNOW her. omgsh its eunice" rofl and we chatted a bit (hi eunice, if your reading =P)

but yes cuz the boss of lj hooker here (my mum's cousin, whos currently on holidays) loves dogs and we saw this pram-type thing for dogs that we reckoned she would buy and it was so cute, but im not a fan of pets so i wasnt THAT interested in them. and then the manager took me to the bird place and wow, some birds were SO CUTE and ADORABLE and COLOURFUL it was amazing, cept none of them were talking, even when the manager tried to talk to them. =[

came back and did some gullotining (? dunno spelling) for stuff to go in magazines so i did that. went on my break and i had these awesumly lovely fish cocktails with a gj iced chocolate that was extremely cold.

after my lunch trudy (the manager that took me to kellyville) took me to the woodcroft franchise and then when we came back there was absolutely nothing for me to do so i read a bit of anne frank and im NEARLY finished, and then i ended up here because i am extremely bored.


today, for the first time in wat seemed like ages, i remembered my dream. it was a relli weird dream. me, bro and mum went to church and ironically were planning on planting bombs in the car via our mobile phones (i know wattheheck?) and then i was like "oh its not even gonna kill anyone, its so small its just a phone" and my mums like "don't worry, it'll kill someone". basically, in a short summary, that was the dream i had. other stuff went on but now that i think of it WATTHEHECK why were we planting bombs outside my church!?


fact 4. my low self esteem is legit
i dont fake it like others do, and i dont pronounce it loudly so that everyone knows i have a low self esteem (well i try not to lately anyway). i hate those ppl that just self-pity, self-pity, self-pity. its stupid.

ive always wondered, those ppl who like create songs or poems on how hopeless and stupid they are are just ridiculous. i mean if youre good enough to write the poems and songs, that means you can actually do stuff and if you post them publicly, then you obviously know that theyre at least decent and you have some sort of talent, so i think all that negativity is just for show, for attention and is completely false. maybe not completely. but yeh.

i mean i know im pretty imaginative and i can write stories, whenever i think of stories i just write them down, and i know i can do something if i have the willpower and im pretty fast and stuff. but yeh my low self esteem is mainly like my appearance and pressure for achieving that i get from, well being asian.

the fact that my bro did so well in his studies relli puts me down and sometimes i dont think i can live up to that, but then ive figured (and although it doesnt clear away the putting-down, it still helps) that i dont actually need to live up to his expectations. i just need to get something thats pretty good, get into a good course at a good uni and then i guess thatll please my parents. hopefully.

argh. i dunno. i have no idea wat i wanna do when i grow up (everyones been asking me that lately) but yeh the subjects ive chosen dont relli reflect wat i like, just more on wat i think my parents would want me to do. but the fact that i have my brother to tutor me in things makes it worse cuz i feel like now i HAVE to do good cuz i have my brother. honestly it sucks.

i might wanna do combined arts and law in uni, arts because you need a double degree when doing law and i dont want to be doing another degree that actually counts (i might wanna do cooking tafe so arts can be like my fun time), but even if i do that i dont think i want to be a lawyer. i want to just own my own business, but thats extremely risky and un-asian. lol. asian = medicine or law.

gosh, if i didnt have such low self esteem i'd be such a risk taker and maybe id be good at stuff. argh i dunno. lets break free from this asian mentality; the world needs risktakers. break with me =]